Thursday, August 6, 2015

How to Deal with Stress.

I used to have this friend who constantly talked about how stressed she was. "I'm SO stressed" was her life's mantra and it was exhausting. Know people like that? Then you are picking up what I'm laying down.

Over the last couple weeks, I've realized that I am becoming the stress case. I am constantly thinking and worrying and wasting time stressing out over everything. Truth be told, there IS a lot going on in my life with work, relationships, child rearing, and the like but ick, enough already with the S word. I'm sure the people around me have noticed and I, ever trying to be self-aware, have definitely noticed. As I tried to fall back to sleep around 3am after feeding the baby last night, my mind started reeling. Remembering something I read years ago, I decided to jot what was bothering me down and have since decided to take a next step and see what I could do to remedy these issues.

Stress: Having #HomeownerProblems
  When we were house hunting, I fell in love with the charms of having an older home--the nooks and crannies and the unique personality each older home had. Now that I live in an old home I realize that shit falls apart. In a matter of weeks our lawnmower broke (with a big yard to manage this is a travesty), our dishwasher broke, our air conditioning stopped working, our guest toilet began having troubles, AND our master bath (which is currently under renovations) started leaking into our basement. WOOF! Partner this with the fact that we are in the midst of going through our home and purging the junk and I just feel overwhelmed and have fallen out of love with our little space.
Solution: Tackle one thing at a time and fix the things that need fixin' first (like our air conditioning during the sweaty armpit that is summer heat). It's so easy to feel overwhelmed when you step back and realize there are 865 projects to be done. I decided to make a super detailed list of all the cleaning, fixer upper, and DIY projects that I'd like to get done before the year ends and I am slowly ticking things off my list. My goal is to do one home project every weekday--even if that "project" is just cleaning off my vanity, that's an accomplishment.

Finding Work/Life Balance (or  Being Overworked/Underlifed)
I used to joke that I was a recovering workaholic but I don't think I qualify as being "in recovery" anymore. As a freelancer, I live my work life in feast more or famine mode. Right now I am in "feast," and while this is amazing and I feel grateful to have the opportunity to be working. I just stress myself out when I don't create boundaries. I feel like a bad mom when I am working with Rowan playing next to me, I feel like a bad worker when I close my laptop to focus on bath time when I have a looming deadline. For months in a row I've worked from breakfast until bedtime with short breaks in between, which is unhealthy for all involved.
Solution: Boundaries. It's okay to turn down projects and it's also okay to ask someone to come watch the baby for an hour while I tackle some writing. I am learning to take advantage of the time Rhyno is home, allowing him to hang with the baby solo while I really get in some productive work hours.

 Having the Lonely Girl Blues
I mostly work at home. My husband works second shift. I live somewhat far out from family and the bulk of my friends. I am solo the majority of my week and though I am someone that definitely thrives on alone time, it can be a lonely pill to swallow.
Solution: Make more plans with people, plain and simple. With a hectic work schedule, I've taken to not making plans. No. I need to make time to go do fun things and meet up with all my lovers...well not really get me. Also, two of my best friends live on my street within view of my house. Next time I mopey about being lonely, I can walk my happy ass down the street.

Being a Parenting Noob
I'm a new-ish mom and second guess a lot of my own parenting. Should I feed him more? Less? Should I wear him forever? If I pick him up when he's acting like this, am I rewarding bad behavior? Is it bad that I gave him Tylenol for his teeth twice this week? He isn't in his own room and now he'll live in my basement forever and people will make fun of him and call him Norman Bates and THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD.
Solution: Calm the eff down. I try to remind myself often that I am doing the best I can and he's a happy, healthy baby. He is loved and I am trying and that's what matters most.

Ultimately, if I can work to change it then that's what I need to do. If I can't change it then I need to stop worrying about it.

How do you handle life's worries and stresses?

No comments:

Post a Comment

You look so pretty today.