A Letter to Rowan, 11 Months.

Dear Rowan,

Boy! In one month you will be ONE YEARS OLD. How? How did time fly by so quickly? I will save the teary, mushy look back at the day you are born for November 3 but trust me that I find myself thinking back to it almost daily. My teeny tiny newborn (who still lived in my belly this time last year!) is now a little boy with likes and dislikes and personality for days.

Oh, you are such a personality! You are loud in the best way and you laugh a lot. You still love to say Dada and you blow raspberries and raise your arms for So Big! You give the best high fives and wave your arms when we say "Yoooohooo!" You are still quite an eater and love almost everything we give you. Blueberries, pineapple, bananas, peas, and spaghetti top your list though. You also are showing more of your preferences--you light up for certain things that you love and dislike others. You are a BIG fan of Doc McStuffins (we think you have a crush, which means you have excellent taste and hello? she's a doctor!), Murray Monster on Sesame Street, your Baby Signing Time DVDs, Mommy, Daddy, and Kira the cat. You still bring your little Toothless stuffed animal everywhere and your small Cookie Monster stuffy usually goes to bed with you to snuggle.

You are moving and shaking! You are zooming all over the house and pulling yourself up on everything. I think you're going to be walking very soon because you try so hard and you have such determination.

You started signing! You mostly sign for more and (sometimes) please. You had to sign sorry a couple when you were being naughty (you made Jackie cry by knocking over his Lego tower!). I also pretended your toy remote was a phone one time and now you constantly hold it up to your ear. It's amazing to me what a little sponge you are. I try to remind myself of that and set good examples for you every day. On that thought, you and I did the Out of the Darkness Walk for suicide awareness in honor of some friends and family we've lost over the years. It was a bittersweet event and hurt my heart to see other families who have suffered too, but I was glad to spend that day with you showing you that time and strength heal you.

Bedtime was becoming a very stressful struggle and it pains me to say I had to start letting you "cry it out." I found a gentle way to do this but dang, it breaks my heart. I know it's best for you in the long run but it's so difficult to hear you cry and not run to you immediately and hold you tightly. Bedtime is getting better little by little and I have to remind myself that motherhood is about balance and teaching you to be independent. 

Here's to another month of love and laughter and raspberries and high fives. You are my favorite favorite and the light of every day. I can't believe you'll be ONE next time I write you a letter!

I love you more than anything, Bear.

XOXO, 

Mommy