How gorgeous was my 30th birthday cake?
I turned 30 yesterday. 3-0. It is bananas. I guess I've never really thought of myself as a "real" adult before because I still feel like an awkward teenager so much of the time. But now I'm entering this new decade with somewhat fresh eyes and more determination than ever to make my life what I want it to be.
For the last month or so, I've really been regretting things I did and didn't do in my twenties. I found myself beating myself down about chances not taken, trips not taken, friends not kept (or kept too long in a couple situations), career paths forgotten, dreams not chased, and everything else. I don't believe in having no regrets, but at the same time I can't focus on the things I would change. I had all these visions of myself at 30: put together, skinny, a perfect mom with a perfect house. I'm not really those things. My house is a disaster, I'm chubby, I often doubt my own parenting, I make mistakes but I'm happy and I'm learning. I'm not beating myself up because I'm not perfect. Every day I'm learning how to be the person I want to be and live the life I want to live. Me and my life aren't perfect, but they are pretty fucking great.
Some goals I'm bringing with me into this new decade:
Make Space for Good, Not for Blah
This is a constant goal, working toward make my life 95% full of wonderful, positive things and people that I love with only 5% of the obligations that I'm not that into. I'm learning to say no to projects if they don't seem right for me, to carve out time for people who make me a better person, and generally choosing to do the thing I love over the thing I dread whenever humanly possible.
I'm trying my best to get things in order with my house, my career, this blog, our finances, and the like. I have to do lists upon to do lists that will help me to organize everything. I used to be so great with keeping everything in check but then, you know, work and new motherhood. When things are in order, I feel more at peace so this is vital. I think once my house isn't so daunting I may actually, *GASP*, love it again.
Keep the Healthy Momentum Going
I've been doing a lot of research and reading about nutrition in an effort to create the healthiest diet for me. I'm continuing on this track to make sure my family and I are eating the most nutritious diet possible (with treats and indulgences here and there, too). I'm hoping to get back in the habit of making things from scratch and cooking really healthy dinners every night.
Do All the Things
I have a terrible habit of pushing things off that I really do want to do. I always make an excuse to not plan a trip or buy that really bright dress or make those complicated cookies. I want to stop just "pinning" things and actually start doing them. One of my greatest regrets is that I've made excuses or procrastinated on doing things that I really wanted to, I'm working hard to leave this regret in my twenties.
But Give Myself Some Wiggle Room
I'm done with the "busy wars" where everyone has to shout from the roof tops how TOTALLY CRAZY STRESSFUL AND BUSY LIFE IS. I'm totally guilty but it's not a competition and business is no prize. I'm learning that it's a-okay to take one night a week after the baby is asleep to skip chores and read a book instead. Relaxation is just as important as productivity.
So here's to my thirties, I'm diving in with big plans and making more and more positive changes. Cheers to 30 years!