A Letter to Rowan, 3 Months.

Dear Rowan,

Last week you sailed into your third month of life and I can't even believe how quickly this is all going by. I told Daddy that it feels like you were always here and also like I just gave birth to you a few days ago. Everything is becoming routine but everything is new. You look like a different boy! Over the last four weeks you have grown longer and filled out (those cheeks are pinchable and those thighs are to live for). I look at photos from Christmas and it's crazy to me how different (and skinny!) you looked then. You are growing out of clothes and hats faster than my heart can take.

Your little personality is really starting to form and, I have to say, I'm absolutely in love. You are generally a very happy baby full of loud coos and big smiles. I have been counting the minutes until I hear you laugh for the first time because I know it'll be a big belly laugh. You are such a little morning person and it has quickly become my favorite time of day. Around 5am you begin trying to break out of your swaddle and I unwrap you to change your diaper and feed you. Afterward I let you cuddle me in bed until I get up. When I lay down to fall asleep I look forward to that hour where you and I snuggle and I watch you sleep. Last weekend I fell asleep snuggling you and I woke up to your cooing at me and smiling. It felt like you knew it was time to start a new day and you were just happy to be together.

You have officially discovered your hands, constantly chewing and wringing them out. You stick your tongue out like a little lizard and you are a spit bubble machine. You are also an old pro at holding your head up and with my help you can go from a laying position to (wobbly, bobbly) standing. I feel like you are going to scoot right past crawling and run circles around me.

I'm proud to say you have become a bedtime champion and it's almost like you recognize your routine now. At 8pm when I bring you to the bath or to your changing table (depending on the day), it seems like you have an idea that it's time for eating then snuggling then sleeping. You sleep good three hour stretches most nights (which is a dream to this mom of a cat napper!!). You have outgrown your bassinet napper and I am moving you to the bigger area of your sleeper. It makes me realize just how fast you're growing. The first night you came home I put you in that napper and you looked so itty bitty, like it could swallow you up. Now you've become too tall for it and can't sleep there comfortably. My heart aches knowing that the next big transition will be to your crib in your own room. I bet you I will sleep on the floor next to you for as long as Daddy allows it.

Speaking of transitions, Daddy's work schedule changed and now he takes care of you during the day while I work. I'm so happy that you two have a few hours of strictly guy time and it melts me to come downstairs to find you both napping or to overhear him singing to you while he changes your diaper.  You and I are on our own for the afternoon and evening now, which took some adjusting to, but I'm kind of loving it. After Daddy leaves you and I do our daily sign language lesson (I am rocking it, you have little interest at this point), sing songs, read books, do tummy time, and play in your room. You're becoming more independent and you are happy to sit in your bouncy seat in the kitchen while I make dinner. I hold up all the vegetables and tell you what they are and when you'll be able to try them. I kind of can't wait for you to have tofu for the first time and see if you love blueberries and watch you taste a lemon.

You are getting old enough for adventures. For the first time ever, I took you in the car by myself a couple of weeks ago (I was too afraid before). Our world has opened up! Last week I packed you up and we drove out to my hometown to visit your Great Grandma at the beauty shop she owns. We visited and the ladies loved on you and it made my heart swell to see how loved you are and hear everyone say how much your GG brags about you and how proud she is of you. It was also quite a trip driving you past my old elementary school and by the house I grew up in. I can't wait for the weather to warm up to see what other mischief you and I can get into. We also started planning your very first vacation to Florida this summer to see Uncle Patrick and Auntie Alley--I'm so excited to take you to the beach and Harry Potter World and help you collect sea shells.

You had your first sleepover at Gramma and Grandpa's house this weekend and you were a champ. They reported lots of playing and you slept like an angel. I missed you so much throughout the night (I even had a dream you were stirring and when I woke up I had your pacifier in my hand) but I'm proud that you did such a great job. It makes me excited for your future sleepovers when they can take you sledding and to see movies and make crafts with you. Gramma also gave you the Cabbage Patch doll I got for Christmas in 1985. I named her Molly, but feel free to change it. I hope you love her as much as I have, There's something very magical about giving you the special toys that I loved so much as a kid.

You are at the age where you are changing every. single. day. I'm excited to see your personality continue to develop and I'm trying my best to cherish every day since I'm realizing just how fast all of this happens--I looked at a photo of you from a few hours after you were born and I felt a little pang in my heart. You were so tiny, so delicate, so new.As you napped on my chest yesterday I watched your little chest move up and down with your breath and your little fingers softly twitch in your sleep. I got misty eyed thinking that before I know it you'll be a big boy who doesn't fit so easily in my arms. I promise, though, I will always have a hug and a snuggle for you.

Baby Bear, you are my tiniest best friend and the person I love to spend my days with. I would do anything for you and I hope I'm making good on the promises I made you while you were in my belly to ensure you had the happiest life possible. Daddy and I love you so much and I'm serious when I say every day with you is such a gift (even when you are a bear). 

Looking forward to the minutes, days, and months ahead. I love you, Robo Boy. 

XOXO, 

Mommy