Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Like a Good Pie.

I once read something like, "Like a good pie, your past is always something you're hungry for" and it stuck with me. 

Yours truly circa 1988-ish

Sometimes I feel this nagging guilt that I haven't done enough over the years--I know, I know. I love my life and I'm still so young and yadda yadda. I agree, my life is beautiful and I have so many things still to look forward to. I just sometimes thumb through old photos and wish I had been more adventurous, less guarded, tried more things, worried less about things. I wish I had done that semester abroad in Italy that I had planned to or that I'd tried harder for that internship at the Goodman Theatre. I wish I'd spent more time being honest and open, less time watching television or being too shy to go to lunch with that group of girls. This is mostly a product of that time of the month emotions (oh, too much information?) but it's definitely been chomping at me a little bit.

I know it's that whole if I knew then what I know now thing, but I do wish there were things I'd have known. Life is all about experiences, I think I've missed quite a few because I was too lazy or afraid or self conscious. I was talking to a friend about this and her answer was simple, "So start now." I've made it a little goal to have one "experience" every month--something that just helps me live life fully, is all about fun, and is perhaps a tad outside of my comfort zone. Something big like finally planning that vacation we've been waiting for (Mexico? San Francisco? Wait a few years and go back to Italy?) or something small like singing karaoke in front of people and not really giving a shit if they hate it. Because they probably will (I'm pretty pitchy). 

I just want to spend less time in front of the TV or worrying about cleaning the house and more time having fun and trying new things. I am a girl and I just want to have (more cause I already have quite a bit of) fun, damn it!

You ever feel that way?

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You look so pretty today.