Monday, October 28, 2013

Paddling My Own Canoe.

Sometimes my friends tell me cool stories of living in the city and bumping into random small-time celebrities or hitting up book signings after work and I feel a PING of "aw, shucks, wish that was me" self-pity.
But then I moved to the country and just happened to buy a house in the town riiiight next to where one of my favorite actors/authors grew up. Then a year or so later he stopped by his hometown and did a book signing/reading/sing-along at his old elementary. If you already know who Nick Offerman is without clicking the link I already think you are way super awesome cool, if you have to click...well, then click away and fall in love. He is funny and mustached and insightful and sweet in the manliest way and, hey, he's Ron effing Swanson. Dang, I love Parks & Recreation.
Sorry for the shitty photo quality--my camera AND phone died before the reading even started so I had to use Rhyno's rinky-dink garbage phone camera.
 The senior Offerman, Nick's dad, introduced the evening and it was kind of the most precious thing ever. Nick Offerman's entire family was in the audience and it was cool to see a hometown celebrity come back home and be so modest and hilarious. He told funny stories about wanting to be a break dancer (his name was Tick Tock) and gave a list of reasons why he loves his wife (Megan Mullaly) so much and told the audience how much it meant to him to grow up in this teeny, tiny town in the middle of almost nowhere. He ended the evening with "Bye, Bye Lil' Sebastian" which any Parks & Rec fan would die over. I died over it. I'm basically dead.
Um, so then came the book signing and I nearly barfed in my mouth because I was so dang excited to meet him.
In the effort of saving time, no one was allowed to take an actual photo WITH Nick. So my homemade mustache that would make for the perfect photo opp went unused.
I have met a handful of celebrities in my time and I sometimes act like a dingbat. I once met one of my very favorite authors (Susan J. Gilman) and was so awestruck by her hilarity and intelligence that I ditched the pre-made speech I had in mind and nervously yelled, "I LOVE BOOKS!" and whipped her own hardcover at her face. I could not do that again. So when I got to the table I very calmly admitted, "I am freaking out." Mr. Offerman simply said, "No. Do not do that. Let's just talk like humans." And we did. And it was rad. I told him how much I loved Somebody Up There Likes Me and he told me a bit about working with the director and how proud he was of that movie and how nice Chris Pratt & Amy Poehler are. I was grinning like a buffoon and happy as a clam.
 It was one of my very favorite moments of 2013. Thank you, Mr. Offerman.

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You look so pretty today.